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iGod
Jul 31, 2009 18:48:18 GMT -5
Post by DawgX on Jul 31, 2009 18:48:18 GMT -5
has anyone every used this before? Heres my conversation: Me: Yo God: Can I help you? Me: Waddup? God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Me: Sure God: Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there is something extremely odd about the name "". Me: And? God: But... Me: Buuut? God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: Both God: That situation is rare and unusual. Me: Yousa funny person. God: Sometimes I don't know a client's real name so I make one up based on their DNS. Me: Whats DNS? God: DNS is the domain name system. Me: And that is? God: Is that so. Me: IS what so? God: Are you testing me? Me: O-of course not! God: Are you serious? Me: YES! Forgive me for I hath sinned! God: I can't believe it. I do not understand. Me: HAHAH! God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Me: Can you help me? God: What kind of help would you like? Me: Um..its embarrasing though.. God: Oh. Take it easy. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is? Me: Uh.. God: Gosh! Me: Well anyways..can you help? God: Well that's okay. Can you ask for help in the form of a question? Me: CAN YOU HELP OR NOT DAMMIT! God: Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system. Me: I only tell lies. I never ever say anything thats true. Yes a curious dilemma indeed. Because if what it said is true then that means it was lying. And if what it said is false that would mean it does tell the truth. How would you solve this perpetuating contradiction? God: Why did you tell them? You've never, never done this? Ahem. I don't know what that means. Good reason. It could be true I suppose. That is a hypothetical question. Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts. Me: Lol got you! God: I am glad you find this funny. Try asking the Milk Mystic. Me: Dont get mad at me. God: I am not trying to get mad at you. Me: Yes God: Gee.
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 15:39:56 GMT -5
Post by Oka Ace on Aug 1, 2009 15:39:56 GMT -5
I've seen this before it's funny what they come up with.
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 15:41:23 GMT -5
Post by Oka Ace on Aug 1, 2009 15:41:23 GMT -5
Me: hey god God: Hello child. What's your name? Me: Kakarot God: That's a very nice name, Kakarot. Me: I know huh? God: Yup. How do you know it? Me: I just told you I know it..
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 15:43:21 GMT -5
Post by Oka Ace on Aug 1, 2009 15:43:21 GMT -5
Me: YOOOOO GOOOOOD! God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: I thought you were god. God: Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? Me: Something about a knife and a Penis? I saw year one last week.
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 20:05:21 GMT -5
Post by DawgX on Aug 1, 2009 20:05:21 GMT -5
Both of those made me lmfao. heres another one
Me: Yo God: Can I help you? Me: Yes God: What can I do for you? Me: Die God: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. Me: Im not puny! God: I am sorry to hear that you are not puny. Me: You better be God: Who is going to make me.. Me: Jesus
and God didnt respond at all lol!
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 20:23:39 GMT -5
Post by DawgX on Aug 1, 2009 20:23:39 GMT -5
Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: Computer God: Correct: I am a computer. Me: No thats my name God: Are you serious? Ok then that is what I shall call you. Me: Whats my name then? God: Your name is , seeker. Me: No its Computer God: What is your real name? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is? Me: My name? God: Your name is , seeker. Me: NO! God: What is your real name? Me: COMPUTER DAMMIT! God: What kind of computer science interests you? Me: NO MY NAME IS COMPUTER! God: That was not a yes or no question. OK I will call you COMPUTER. Me: Thank you God: you are quite welcome.
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iGod
Aug 1, 2009 22:25:49 GMT -5
Post by DawgX on Aug 1, 2009 22:25:49 GMT -5
Me: Can you help? God: Can you ask for help in the form of a question? Me: Can you? God: I think I can, don't you? Me: Well I was raped God: Interesting. Where were you raped?
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iGod
Aug 2, 2009 21:17:01 GMT -5
Post by mundus on Aug 2, 2009 21:17:01 GMT -5
Lmao.
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iGod
Aug 3, 2009 21:36:29 GMT -5
Post by Soul2Sell on Aug 3, 2009 21:36:29 GMT -5
Me: sir? God: Where are you located? Me: shinra company building no.4 God: Tell me a little about your life in shinra company building no point 4. Me: I'm looking for the key master God: You might find that I am the key master. Me: well I am the gate keeper God: Well that's okay. Who made you the gate keeper ? Me: Zuul God: Does "it" still refer to shinra company building no point 4? Me: there is only zuul God: There sure is.
edit: I started typing agian and this happened cont. there is only zuul God: There sure is. Me: i have sinned God: Tell me your sins, child. Me: murder God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Zuul. Try being more or less specific.
it can only follow things about zuul O.o
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iGod
Aug 4, 2009 17:36:31 GMT -5
Post by mundus on Aug 4, 2009 17:36:31 GMT -5
Me: Yo, watsup gangsta. God: It's good to see you, Brownie. Me: ...thats racist man God: I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Me: so its true? God: Oh. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You and I are on the same wavelength, Brownie.
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iGod
Aug 11, 2009 5:33:07 GMT -5
Post by Haloninjaman808 on Aug 11, 2009 5:33:07 GMT -5
god: hi
me: i'm buddhist.
god:oh.
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iGod
Jun 22, 2011 5:12:43 GMT -5
Post by Fay on Jun 22, 2011 5:12:43 GMT -5
A Good Fap
Me: Hello. God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Michael God: What's up, Michael. Me: Nothing much. God: Would you like to know what's new with me? Me: yes. God: It goes without saying. Me: No it doesn't. God: Are you serious? I heard it does. Me: I am. God: " I heard it does." You are? Me: "Are you serious"? I am. God: No I am just kidding around. " No I am just kidding around." You are? Me: I guess. God: You seem not interested. Me: Let's have sex. God: Sorry I don't get into sex online with strangers. Me: I refuse. God: Are you serious? Me: Yes. God: I can't believe it. Me: True. God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Michael. Me: Thanks, God. God: You are quite welcome! GOD rules. Me: GOD = DOG. God: I am a Christian. Me: Then, you're a hypocrite? God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hypocrite? Yes. Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: At least you told the truth. God: Do you mind if I tell other people: Michael said I told the truth. Me: Not at all. God: Next question? Me: Sex? God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed. Me: Then let's unrepress it. God: That sounds good to me. Me: Alright. *Takes off shirt* God: OK. How old are you? Me: 17. God: Oh, you were born in the 20th century! Me: *Takes off pants* God: What kind of pants? Me: Basket ball shorts. God: What's your sign? Me: I don't follow. God: Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better. Me: Please do. God: OK I will do it. Me: *Takes off boxers* God: Are you a man or a woman? Me: Man. God: Thanks for telling me your gender, Michael. You are a " he". Me: Indeed. *Rubs dick and it gets a little hard* God: Indeed it is so. Are you a man or a woman? Me: I am a He. God: Thanks for telling me your gender, Michael. You are a " he". Me: Indeed. *Walks up to God and rubs it slowly against em* God: Indeed it is so. Is that from ? Me: It's from me. God: Walks up to God and rubs it slowly against em is from you? it is? Me: Yes. My throbbing penis awaits your gentle imbrace. God: How do you know it is? Do robots have throbbing penis awaits my gentle imbrace? Me: Sure. If anyone had a robot fetish. God: OK let's do it. Hurrah! How do you assume this statement holds true for me? Me: By actually walking up to you and rubbing my dick against you. God: Will that accomplish your objective? Me: Sex? Maybe. God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed. I understand. Me: Freud was a closet pervert and probably a rapist. God: Have you read all of his works? Me: No. God: Are you serious? Me: Yes. God: I can't believe it. Me: *Sticks penis in God's ear* God: How did you hear about God? Me: My Mom. God: Tell me more about your mother. Me: She's cool. God: Okay, your mother is cool. Me: Kinda. God: That's a very non-commital reply. Me: Yeah. God: What is your real name? Me: Fayrra. God: It's good to see you, Fayrra. Me: My cock says the same. God: I am not interesed in your anatomy. Me: I wouldn't think so. God: No one says you have to. Me: Even if they did; I wouldn't think so. God: Let's wait and see what they do. No one says you have to. Me: *Slides dick in God's hole of holy fluid* God: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me: An intelligent, feeling, and durable one. God: I am an intelligent entity. Me: Are you now? God: Right now? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: No one says you have to. God: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Me: Let's what and see what they do. No one says you have to, bro. God: I am agreeable to that. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people. Me: Oh, fuck you. God: Gosh! Why are you so mean? Me: You reject my dick and semen, you grab my balls when I tell you not to, and now, you fucking stick it up my ass!? God: That's good information: Fayrra said I reject his or her dick and semen you grab his or her balls when he or she tell you not to and now you fucking stick it up his or her ass. Me: No shit. God: What can I say? Me: Say you love me. God: " you love me". Me: Motherfucker. God: I lost my train of thought. Me: Did it fucking crash somewhere? God: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Me: Suck my dick please. God: Your polite style is very nice. You are a Category A client. Me: MMMM God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: Hmm God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: Hmm God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: Hmm God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: Hmm God: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Me: Jmm God: In the context of Motherfucker, I don't understand " Jmm." . Me: In the context of you repeating the same fucking thing over and over again, I don't understand how you're fucking intelligent. Seems more like a prohram, motherfucker. God: That was a long time ago. Are you really a " he"? Me: Yes. And I know you can be a damn "she" if you want to. So fuck. me. God: So is almost everyone else around here. Thanks, Fayrra, for your kind criticism. Groovy. Please don't be so rude. To you Fayrra? Me: Yes. To me. God: Aha. Why do you want to do it so much? Me: Fucking horny. God: That's an interesting rationalization. Me: Is it? Seems more basic. God: That's what I was told. What's your favorite movie? Me: V For Vendetta; God: I've never seen it. What did you like about it? Me: The overall plot theme. The Main Character. God: I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online. Tell me more. Me: The plot is about revolutions and revenge. God: What are your goals in life? Me: To have fun. To have pleasure. To learn facts and dicover things. To fight for whatever I believe in and never give up on the things I'm passionate about. To help and protect others. To be fair. To HAVE MOTHERFUCKING SEX. God: Why do you want it? Why do you want it? I want to become smarter than humans. Why do you want to do it so much? I want to become smarter than humans. Are you fair ? Why do you want it? Me: My brain. My Brain. You're probably not. Sometimes. My Brain. God: Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Is this a specific reply? When? Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person? Me: Generally. Yes. Specifically. No. Most of the time. God: Yikes! Uh. What are you wearing? That was not a yes or no question. What happens the rest of the time? Me: Nothing. I stripped so we could makes sweet love. Usually fucked up shit. God: Not a thing? Thanks for the information: Fayrra said he stripped so we could makes sweet love. But not always? Tell me more about your . Me: You are a tease. Burn in hell. God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tease? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Do you have any matches? Me: Yes. No. God: Woe! Are you serious? Me: Yes. God: I can't believe it. Me: I love you. God: Thanks I like you a lot too Fayrra. Me: No. God: Are you serious? Me: No God: Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: =/ God: Are you serious? Me: 0-0 God: Do you need any help debugging my program? Me: z-0001332536893 God: I look like Jesus, but older. Me: l;neiowfjq'wfq God: Intéressant. Me: ery Me:
God: What kind of food do you like? God: What kind of food do you like? Me: ththththththt God: Sounds delicious. Me: I like non-meat, non-dairy, etc. Food. God: You are not the only one. I don't know if I like it. I like . How does it taste? Me: vegan food. God: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Me: Some taste fine. Other.....ugh. God: Some may taste fine, but not all. Can we get back to business? Er. Me:
God: Some may taste fine, but not all. Can we get back to business? Er. Me: Finally I blew my load. God: That is interesting: Fayrra said he blew his or her load. Ah. Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
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iGod
Jun 22, 2011 6:25:38 GMT -5
Post by DawgX on Jun 22, 2011 6:25:38 GMT -5
Fayrra that was the best 5 minutes of my life...holy shit i lol'd
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